I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So apparently I’m into choking now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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