1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
