the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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