Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
