What a fucking waste of an outfit
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You ruined the universe
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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