He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize