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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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