You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
