she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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