I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
