I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you win again, gameday.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
