I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
