i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
