i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
