he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
