what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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