Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
