At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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