If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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