'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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