Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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