It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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