Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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