Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
