we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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