I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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