can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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