he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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