every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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