look no pants
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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