I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
