I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
