I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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