You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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