don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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