is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
