Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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