btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
