How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
