is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
