the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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