i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
