hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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