So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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