My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
