we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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