Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
