2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
either way he was missing a nipple.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
