There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
