dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I did not marry a roomba.
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