note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Come on in and take your pants off
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