Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
