I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
