I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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