I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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