I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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