well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
