I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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