Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
