It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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