office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
