just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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