drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
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What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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