we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
