i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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