i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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