Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i already hear my dad disowning me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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