So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize