This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
