dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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